Career Songwriter

Musicians aren’t exactly famous for their ability to handle relationships well. The stereotype is that our art comes first, and that there is always a part of ourselves we withhold from our loved ones as we’re devoted to another muse. That may be true for some, but perhaps it’s impossible to distinguish whether it’s a product of our personalities and choices rather than the fact that we have a musical gene weaving through our DNA.

Recently a fellow songwriter shared with me a difficult situation with his wife resulting from a seemingly insignificant performance of a popular song. The song brought up some sensitive issues, and in doing so, created a rift within the most important relationship in his life. As songwriters and artists, it’s only natural we sing and write about issues close to home. By the very act of connecting with our audience, we focus on what provokes thought and causes emotion. We can even bring to life an experience that was not our own, and write it with such sensitivity, such detail, that it becomes real once more in the span of that 3 and half minutes.

I’ve personally performed songs I’ve written where after the performance, several audience members came to me with concern for my well-being. No, I wasn’t suicidal, but rather digging deep into the difficulties of what matters most to us in life- our relationships. Some songs are just more powerful written from first person perspective. In this case, taking a side-line view of divorce using he/she said language just wouldn’t cut it. I had to expose every fiber in my body to the sting, the hurt, the desperation and the shame of what it would feel like to find myself at the end of that rope. We’ve all been in similar situations or felt empathy for others in those situations, so I’m not about to pretend that I’m safely on the sidelines of every song I write. I’m saying that in order to write songs that matter, sometimes I’ve got to reveal my own vulnerability by personalizing the issues that affect us all.

I hope that those listening to my songs feel comforted and less alone. The few that decide all my song lyrics foreshadow the dissolving of my closest relationships are missing the point. For those close to me, a good sit-down discussion about where the song came from and why I chose to write it can be a great idea. I don’t know about you, but often my songs reveal to me things I’ve been tossing around in my head before I know I’ve been tossing them around. In a sense, I guess you could say I journal to pitch and rhythm. My songs are an extension of how I look at the world and how I think the world looks at me. Sometimes that’s messy, and sometimes it’s beautiful, but it’s always honest. And that’s all I owe myself or anybody else.